My labour didn’t quite go as I planned. My waters broke on 11th December but no contractions followed so 24 hours later I was induced in hospital. On Saturday 12th December I was booked in at 7.30am and Darwin was born at 11.33pm weighing 8lb 5 1/2 oz. I hoped to rely on just gas and air but the contractions proved so painful I was begging for an epidural, which was topped up many times. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything all day due to being a “higher risk” of needing a c-section due to the induction so felt weak. The labour felt pretty traumatic, most of it was a horrible blur as I was pushing for hours. Darwin wasn’t in the best position and I ended up having an episitomy and he was delivered by forceps. Everything I had tried to avoid! Seeing him and holding him for the first time was amazing. I breastfed him immediately after he was born. Mr C had to leave the hospital at 4am (men aren’t allowed up the the ward at nightime) to a frozen over car. I felt very lonely on the ward, left to look after a baby and having no clue and being exhausted. I ended staying 3 nights, Darwin was sleepy and had problems latching on.
Once home we were dogged by feeding problems as Darwin remained sleepy and wasn’t feeding well. A midwife came round and tested him for jaundice which proved positive. Darwin had lost 12% of his birthweight, (anything under 10% is ok) due to not feeding properly. Darwin was admitted to hospital and spent a night in a phototherapy unit. It was so sad seeing him in there with his little sunglasses on as he kept thrashing about. He also had multiple heel prick tests (blood tests) and a canula (the drip) in his hand. Neither of which he liked and was horrible to see.
Back home, a few days later Darwin was weighed again by a health visitor and now had lost 15% of his birthweight. I felt so distraught feeling so guilty about his weightloss. Darwin was re-admitted to hospital and he was de-hydrated. A feeding plan was implemented which consisted of every 3 hours skin to skin contact (me and him as naked as possible having a good cuddle), trying to breastfeed him which didn’t often work so expressing my milk and then bottle feeding him that. By the time that was all done and his nappy changed I was left with 1 hour of sleep before the process was started again. I also wasn’t producing enough milk and I refused to top up with formula milk so I was given donor breast milk. We stayed in a couple of nights this time; Christmas was fast approaching.
Christmas and New Year was an absolute blur of sleep deprivation. I had to keep up the feeding routine and set my alarm in the night to keep up. We were loaned a breast pump by the hospital and given a batch of donor milk. Life revolved around this routine and we became obsessed with how many ml of milk he was taking. After a few weeks his latching on got better and he was gaining weight well. I now feed Darwin “on demand” which is roughly 3 hourly but I make plenty of milk now so the expressing and donor top ups have been done away with. With his jaundice gone (the sleepiness being a problem of this) I don’t have to set my alarm in the night, Darwin soon lets me know these days when he is hungry! I still have sleep deprivation, now we can’t get him to sleep very long throughout the night. Still it’s early days (he’s nearly 10 weeks old now) so it’s not uncommon at this stage for babies to have their night and days mixed uo. Nowadays he’s gaining weight well and feels hefty. I feel proud that we got though the tough times and I managed to breastfeed him.
Still, I’d like some sleep please.
Sleepy boy
Darwin playing on his jungle gym with a big smile
