Archive for March, 2005

Oily man came in today, so called because he smells like he lives in a vat of engine oil. He looks like he washes in oil too and I don’t think he’s changed his jumper in a decade. He absolutely reeks and it’s vile. He’s got these funny spots on his face where they look like they are filled with black oil instead of pus.

He’s rather annoying as he loves to tell you his life story which happens to be very boring and he always seems to corner me (what is it with all these weirdos talking to me). He usually looks at local interest books but today he seem preoccupied with health books and a book on sex toys (ugh). He ends up buy a family medical reference book and starts the following conversation, (in a broad Yorkshire accent)

Oily Man: Well I’ve been to the doctors and they don’t know what’s wrong with me so I getting this book. I’ve got spots! Well the doctors don’t know what it is but I think it’s scrapie that I’ve caught oft animals like. Coz you can get alsorts these days. Well I’m to eat more green veg so I’ve got mesel some potatoes. This book has summit about pneumonia in which me dear mother, who’s passed away now, had. My brother, he’s healthy like so ‘appen he’ll know what to do

I want to back off but he insists on shoving the money for the book in my hands and babbling on some more and invading my airspace.

I’ve since found out that scrapie is a sheep disease similar to BSE which is not generally thought to harm people. Thank fuck because I thought that he might pass on something deadly!

Back to Manchester this weekend where we chased this duo down the street with a camera though I don’t think they noticed. Why they are walking a unicorn down the street is anybody’s guess.

Oh god it was one of those days for freaky customers. First of all Drunk Bernard came in the shop reeking of spirits. He’s the kind of drunk who is fairly harmless but he demands attention, which I refuse to give. He muttered about love and Freud so I just walked away laughing my head off. He sways a lot and makes a fool of himself all around Ilkley town.

Then Postman Pat came in. We think he’s a postman because wears what looks like Royal Mail uniform though I’m surprised even they let him work for them. Postman Pat usually comes into the shop every week and spends ages browsing, and he especially seems to like books on pregnancy, erotic photography, and trains. He likes “bopping” to the Django Reinhardt music we sometimes play, and he’s started to whiff a bit too. Today he did he usual muttering but instead of his usual bouncing to the music he started what I can only describe as pelvic thrusting! It go so bad my colleague asked him sternly if he was quite alright. He replied yes he was but most people think he’s a little strange and he loves our music so much he simply can’t stop his body from moving.

I went to the doctors today and found out I have mild psoriasis on my elbows, toes and left ankle.

Psoriasis (sore-I-ah-sis) is a common immune-mediated chronic skin disease that comes in different forms and varying levels of severity. Most researchers now conclude that it is related to the immune system (psoriasis is often called an “immune-mediated” disorder). It is not contagious. In general, it is a condition that is frequently found on the knees, elbows, scalp, hands, feet, or lower back. Many treatments are available to help manage its symptoms.
It generally appears as patches of raised red skin covered by a flaky white buildup. Psoriasis can also cause intense itching and burning

(God yes! I’ve been dragging the top of my toes on rough carpet to ease the intense itching)

I’m also cutting down on my Seroxat (anti-depressants), which is great. because I feel ready to start living without them. They were helpful to me in getting though the depression but I’ve been on various anti-depressants for nearly 10 years! I have to start weaning myself off this drug because I’ve been on it so long and it’s addictive (though the makers deny it despite many people reporting their own addictions woes).

Due to overcrowding and lameness many meat chickens will have no choice but to spend prolonged parts of their lives squatting on the floor. Sitting in the build up of excrement and ammonia causes hock burns, breast blisters and ulcerated feet. Hock burns are easy to spot on whole, fresh chicken so look out for brown marks on the legs of whole chickens near the “knee” joint. If you are feeling brave, complain to the manager!

Taken from Compassionate Shoppers’ Guide by Compassion in World Farming

I’ve had my worse migraine yet today. I lost part of my vision on my half hour lunch break at work. I was looking forward to reading a great book too (Fallen Angels by Bernard Cornwell). So I ate my lunch in the back of the shop with my eyes closed wishing for my sight to return. When I get a migraine I get really bad “floaters” but to the point where I can’t see properly. My vision just about returned at the end of my break so I could go back on the shop floor and I thought I was over the worse. Then the headache struck. It’s awful throbbing like someone is cracking your head open (obviously I can only imagine what this feels like). I managed to muddle through that and I was left alone in the shop while my boss went on her lunch hour. Then the sickness and dizziness hit me. I’ve never had these symptoms accompanying a migraine before. I was serving customers while feeling very queasy and wondering if I was going to collapse or not. I managed to get through that hour and when my boss came back I sat in the back of the shop for a bit to recover. I came home and slept it off after work.

I stayed in Manchester for the weekend in our lovely new flat. C and I went to ikea to shop for more necessities like a set of dinner plates and a pair of bedside drawers. I love the way ikea give everything a Swedish name like “Groggy” coasters. Here’s a one I spied on Sunday in the kids’ section.

One of the other branches rang up today asking could we send them our last Looney Tunes annual. A customer wanted a picture of Tweety Pie so she can have it tattooed on her body.

I stayed the weekend in Manchester at our new flat. Ahh the joys of living with your partner! Lots of being naked where we liked. I didn’t even mind doing the washing up because it was in our kitchen (I’m sure the novelty will wear off soon).

C and I went shopping for household bits and bobs. The Pound shop (where everything costs a pound) is great! Managed to buy a colander, draw tidy, doorstops and all sorts of plastic stuff. I love shopping for cutlery and utensils which is a bit sad I know. I managed to break the new vacuum cleaner that we bought for £27 from Argos. I was only testing it out and I snapped the tube, twice.

I think I am jinxed when it comes to buses. I envisaged Manchester’s buses running smoothley as there seem to be plenty of them. I nearly missed my coach home today because a Stagecoach bus never turned up. C saved the day by driving me in to the city centre. He was only able to because he hasn’t started his new job (so I shall be buggered if there’s a repeat of this next week). At least Manchester buses are a lot cheaper than my local buses.

Via chatiryworld, via the web

Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

“Things were off to a better start than I’d imagined. As expected, I began helping around the house. But Auntie Sahru’s oldest daughter, Fatima, was nineteen years old.”

– Desert Flower by Waris Dirie and Cathleen Miller