Archive for August, 2004

A sheep got into our garden today and broke one of my mother’s favourite, large earthenware pots. I think she is re-considering being a vegetarian.

Our local pisshead came in to the shop for a slurred visit today. Drunk Bernard as he is known to us, stumbled in and tried to ask me for Pam Ayres but kept mumbling on about Ted Hughes. Then he told me off for saying “uh huh”. We told him we didn’t have the book he wanted so he better try the other book shop in town (which he has been banned from). As he left he added these poignant words “Forget about love”.

He’s a royal pain in the arse and he absolutely reeks of spirits.

There have been a few competitors’ names in the Olympics that have made me giggle:

La Shauntea moore – USA
Bonniface Kiprop – Kenya
Pawina Thongsuk – Thailand
Ivan Ivankov – Belarus

Scream stolen from Norway museum Armed robbers have stolen the iconic Edvard Munch painting, The Scream, from the Munch Museum in Norway.

I’m sure you’ve noticed it’s that the Olympics have just got underway in Athens. I shall be in front of the television as much as my job allows me. Luckily this year, the time is only 2 hours ahead of GMT which means that the Olympic timetable finishes at 10pm. When it was the Atlanta Olympics I was up till all times of the morning to try and watch it.

I’m completely nuts about the Olympics and the majority of sports become fascinating (except maybe football). My favourite is the athletics but I also love the gymnastics, horse-riding and funnily enough the weightlifting. The whole Olympic event has me squealing with excitement.

Britain’s medal bid has got off to a good start with a silver medal in the Men’s Synchronised Diving.

I hate this new poncho trend that seems to have sprung up recently. Ponchos drown out any nice features a thin woman might have and makes an overweight woman look like a big round blob. Just say no to ponchos!

Red head day honours monkey birth
The monkey’s fur will turn black as she matures
In honour of the arrival of a rare red head at London Zoo, humans with the same hair colour are being given cut price entry to the venue on Sunday.

The baby Francois Langur monkey, named Laa Laa, will only keep her bright ginger fur for up to six months before it turns black.

The bright colour helps her mother keep a close eye on her.

I really dislike the words crotch and gusset. They make me feel dirty.

Bush misspeak cites U.S. readiness to harm U.S – “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we,” Bush said on Thursday.

It was my boyfriend’s birthday on Monday so I made him a cake. We decided that a “shrew” cake, yes a cake in the shape of a shrew, would be a lovely birthday treat.

I’d just put the beautifully whipped sponge into the oven when my mum rings. She’s desperate for a lift as the bus hasn’t turned up (something that happens a lot in West Yorkshire it seems) could C, my boyfriend, help out? We both jump into the car. I go along too as I don’t think C wants to chat to my mum alone for too long (due to shyness). It would have been a simple round trip of about 40 minutes leaving plenty of time for me to get the shrew cake out of the oven. We drop my mum off and as we can’t find a right turn to get back home we end up going miles off course and arriving back home to a burnt sponge cake. I manage to salvage the cake by chopping some of the burnt bits off.

The next disaster came with making the icing. I just could not get it to go thick and buttery. I don’t know if it’s the hot weather we are having here in England but my icing was rather runny! I just couldn’t get the little shrew to stick together.
The result as you can see is mouse shaped cake that looks like he’s got a bad dose of diarrhoea.