Archive for December, 2003

12 Days of Kitschmas

Well I made it through Christmas unharmed! First time in years I wasn’t reduced to tears by my grandma’s “fat comments”, in fact, no arguments ensued at all.

Of course Christmas is all about your present tally so here are some of mine:

* Hello Kitty vibrating tooth brush
* Snoring Tare panda
* Tare panda in an Eskimo coat
* Tare panda watch
* Pucca bag and pucca stationery
* Digital camera
* Voucher for a relaxing body massage
* Crimpers
* Books galore
* Hayley Westenra’s album
* Amelie and The Muppets on DVD

Plus lots of other lovely things, I think I did rather well!

Cloudnein has just had a baby boy called Toby. Sniff ^_^

I do hope he’s not christened Jimbob Rimjob/Galvatron/Your Mum

I went to a neighbour’s Christmas party last night with my parents and got very drunk. I recall getting 2 balloons and positioning them on my chest like a pair of tits and asking my father to rub his head between them. He did.

Ball Trimmer

The Balltrimmer is an ideal grooming tool for reaching sensitive areas. The Balltrimmer is safe and effective and offers a better alternative to scissors or razors. It’s ideal for first time groomers as well as those who are more experienced at the process. Trim as little or as much as you want, whether it is just a touch up or a smooth shave, the Balltrimmer won’t nick, cut or chaff sensitive areas.

Super duper cute panda cub!

The San Diego Zoo unveiled the name of its four-month old male giant panda cub on Tuesday – it was named Mei Sheng, which translates into “Born in the USA.”

I really have the need to incorporate the word cupboardy in my everyday speech.

I have been ill with flu and am now going deaf again.

Christmas in retail can be somewhat of a nightmare because it’s so busy and the incessant Christmas music playing in the shop can drive you mad.
What annoys me the most is, and it’s mainly women to blame, mothers with prams and push-chairs. We have an admittedly smallish sized shop which makes it extra hard to maneuver the oversized baby vehicles but mothers will insist on parking junior in the middle of the aisle. They block the area and then the baby starts crying and then leave it there to wail on and on while I go slowly mad and my eardrums burst. I know you can’t help crying babies but maybe if you gave it some attention maybe we’d all get some peace on earth.
When I become prime minister, I shall outlaw prams and push-chairs. Stick your baby in one of those ruck sack carry thingies, save on space and comfort the baby at the same time!

I’ve got a very itchy left foot. I sometimes fantasise about cutting my toes off to ease the itching.

I’m still hoping for a pack of Iraq’s most wanted playing cards for Xmas