Archive for November, 2003

My brother has a job circumcising elephants, the pay is really awful, but the tips are enormous.

“You are a paedophile. You are a nonce. You’re a perv. You’re a slot badger. You’re a two pin din plug. You’re a bush dodger. You’re a small bean regarder. You’re a una bummer. You’re a nut administrator. You’re a bent ref. You’re The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. You’re a fence vole. You’re a free willy. You’re a chimney bottler. You’re a bunty man. You’re a shrub rocketeer.”

When the new ID cards come in, with the iris recognition system, David Blunkett won’t know where to look.

Real people with rude names – features Lisa Minge (a Gynecologist), Dick Hymen and Welcome Bender (Department of Biological Chemistry and Molecular Pharmacology Harvard).

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Har Mar Superstar new face and body of Vladivar Vodka

Who buys this tat?

Comets are named after their discoverers. Asteroids are named by their discoverers at will: all four members of the Beatles have minor planets named after them.

Tiny Pee-wee is smaller than a 50p coin, but may join the big time
A hamster so small he could fit into a match box could well find his way into the Guinness Book of Records