Archive for August, 2003

DO NOT SMILE!!!

*like what the hell?*

I saw this on the main MSN.co.uk webpage and it made me laugh. I have no idea why…

I spent last night in Bradford where I caught the tail-end of the cybergoth festival infest where VNV Nation were headlining. Much fun was had by all.

As always happens to me at these events, the most energetic dancers always decide to dance in my “space”. This time a bloke with hair that had foot long spikes sticking out at all angles, decided to dance in front of me and his spikes tickled my face. The funniest outfit of the evening should be awarded to the woman wearing a gimp mask and waist cincher who seemed to have forgotten to wear a bra. I figured the gimp mask was to protect her face from her massive tits that kept hitting her in the face as she danced.

A Dutch funeral director has sacked a hearse driver for losing a coffin on the way to a funeral.The driver was on his way to a cemetery in Amsterdam when the back door of his hearse suddenly opened and the coffin fell out.

“I’ve come over your dead body”

What I meant to say was to a colleague at work was “I’ve come across that book you were looking for, ‘Your dead body‘”

“He is soft and cuddly, and who wouldnt want to cuddle a tampon ??”