Archive for November, 2002

Well in complete contrast to yesterday I’m very hyper! I’ve been running round the house doing Leo Sayer impressions

I enjoyed watching the gymnastics today on BBC1, after all where else can you look at middle age men (the coaches) wearing glittery shell-suits? Some of the contestants have great names like Ivan Ivankov (say quickly).

* Some woman with floppy baps

I went in search of self-injury forums in the hope of finding some supportive help. I think I may have just triggered myself. The longer I stay at home and not actively looking for a job the more depressed I seem to be getting. The longer I am out of a job the more money worries I am getting. It’s also Xmas soon and I love buying presents. My parents keep badgering me with job applications. I don’t blame them, they are only trying to help I just want to curl up in bed and stay there forever. I hate posting here how I feel because it makes IRL friends worry. I can’t help it though, I have to let out my feelings. I don’t do it to get attention.

possibly the best sex toy ever? (link stolen from scrag ends)

Although this is pretty rough too pump with red lips

solid cyber girl head – “For greatest realism, if you live in a cold climate, the head may be warmed to body temperature by wrapping her in an electric blanket before use.”

E-mail obfuscator obfuscate your e-mail adress on your web-page so those naughty little spambots don’t send you spam.

bah it’s 6.54am and I still haven’t been to bed. bah bah graaaaag. insomnia sucks.

Went to the cinema in Leeds today and saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It’s absolutely superb! It was much better than the first HP film. My experience was only marred by the amount of kids getting up and going to the toilet constantly. If I had kids I wouldn’t bother with the cinema, not paying the amount they charge to only have ya rugrat keep running out to the bog. Rent the video instead!

Well I’ve spent the last week doing fuck all at home. I am supposed to be looking for a job. So far I have picked two job application forms up and not filled them in. By the way please do not contact my local jobcentre and dob me in as I haven’t signed back on. This is because I am hoping to find a job before I get desperate. I know I will get a stern lecture for quitting a job without a reasonable explanation and I think I will get like half the regualar dole pittance anyways. I think it’s cheaper to save on the bus fare in getting there.

Now I really must motivate myself…..oh look Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 and a bar of chocolate mmm

erm well what’s happening with me? I don’t have the answer to that. I was supposed to be at work yesterday morning but I couldn’t face it. So I came up with a silly plan. I decided to have a good carve away at my left wrist. My left arm is the only one I ever harm and cut up anymore. Don’t ask me why, maybe I’m vain. I didn’t do it with the intention of slitting my wrists or trying to die. I guess my plan was when my dad came in my room to demand where I was I’d say look I’m bleeding too much to face going to work! Yes stupid I know.
Anyways, my dad comes in, I do what I do as usual and hide my harming because I’m ashamed of it and I hate seeing my parent’s faces when they see what I have done to myself. Anyways, I started crying so my dad ran off to get my mum. She called in sick for me. I am supposed to be in work tomorrow but I just can’t face ringing them up to say I’m not coming back. I mean what do I say? So the upshot is I won’t have a job soon.

Profanisaurus I hope to be getting the book version for christmas *yay*

* sticky belly flap cock n. Post wank condition suffered by bishop bashers (qv).
* stuffing a marshmallow in a piggy bank v. Of those unfortunate situations involving brewer’s droop (qv), attempting to force your loose sausage meat (qv) into the slot (qv).
* purple headed womb broom See purple headed yoghurt warrior.

I nearly creamed my panties in the middle of Leeds today. I saw, not one, but three BT broadband internet “boxes” today offereing free (temporary) access. So I went in one and had a quick poke around on the web. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to want to let me into my blog or e-mail so I buggered off and went shopping.

I bought two new books (in hardback, damm expensive things), Geisha of Gion and the new Ha Jin book. At least I don’t read chick-lit (easily noticeable in shops because of their clashing bright colours and silly cartoons of men and women on the front. The books are usually about careers in P.R., finding Mr Right and unexpected but welcome pregnancies). When you get to middle age you may proceed to reading menopausal-lit (think Joanna Trollope and Maeve Binchy), harmless but not exciting novels. By the time you get to 70 you will be doomed to read Catherine Cookson. These dreary books are about lost loves and down-trodden maids. ugh.