I’m trying to win an iPad 2 in the iSave, iWrite, iPad competition from PlayPennies.com!
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“Mummy?” says Penny, “What’s a Price Com-Paris-On Website?”
The question is unexpected, strange to hear her say those words I’ve not thought of for decades.
“I found these”, she waves a bundle of papers, “in the loft” she says by way of explanation.
I look at the paper, real paper from an old fashioned printer; yellow and musty. It’s been years since I saw real paper; I can’t help but take a closer look.
The banner headline is faded but I can make out partial words ‘ennywise paren’ and underneath a bulleted list of ‘money saving ideas’ from a long forgotten era.
How best to explain to her? She has no idea of what life was like Before; she’s spent the entirety of her short life in Cntrlia. A price comparison website is no more real to her than a dragon or a unicorn. She’ll learn about it in history at school, of course. One day I’ll show her the statue in CntrlPark; a monument to the Great Comparison Battle of Trafalgar Square (2042), where a 400ft, fat robotic opera singer succumbed in a fight to the death with a thousand rabid meerkats.
“What about ‘cash back sites’, then?” Penny asks innocently, reading another item from the list. Again, she’ll have to learn about that from a qualified Economic Physics teacher; The Rift Event of 2054. Competing cash-back websites gave out such vast sums of money, that you got more back than you put in; creating an inflationary spending spiral so powerful it tore apart half of Essex before they could pull the plug. In a few years, when the radiation levels drop, I’ll have to show her the crater.
“Competitions?” Penny offers; fully aware that my patience is running out.
Another horror from history, this time the collapse of the world’s largest technology company, when it was found that 99.4% of the 30 million people who owned their latest shiny gadget had won it in a competition! Competitions were banned shortly afterwards, followed (due to an administrative blunder) by the Competition and Monopolies Commission who were supposed to keep an eye on big business, rather than regulate raffles. This gave CntrlGroup, the mega corporation and owner of the biggest supermarket in the country, free reign to take over and buy out everyone else. Everything. All the shops, websites, banks, health services, the school system, the transport network, then the armed services (swiftly followed by the government itself.)
“The old days were terrible” I say loudly for the benefit of the CntrlSurveillance Drones, hoping I sound like I mean it. “You had to search different websites to see which had the cheapest price, and you had to worry about savings accounts, swapping your energy supplier, your phoneline, visiting all sorts of shops to make sure you got the best deal, growing vegetables, sewing on buttons, making your own lunch to save pennies.
“Things are so much better without all that choice. CntrlGroup are the only choice in town now, and that means that they are the best choice! They provide us with great products every day, and reward points too, to spend on luxuries such as school lessons and dentistry” I recite the mantra with a forced smile and hope I can lay the matter to rest. Penny just looks bemused.
“Trying to save money was something we did Before” I try to explain. “There are no other shops to compare to now, no cashback and no competitions to enter. There is only CntrlGroup, they provide us with all we need and make sure all of our money is spent efficiently. Saving was made illegal years ago. Now we have to make sure we spend all of our earnings by the end of the month, and if we can get a loan to spend more, then all the better! It’s for the good of Cntrlia, for the good of the economy, consumption is good. We must spend, spend, spend our way out of depression!”
Penny smiles at me, suddenly inspired by a thought. She looks up and asks
“But wouldn’t it be better for everyone if we only bought the things we really need?”
I manage to stop my hand an inch from her cheek. I recoil in horror, both at what my daughter has said and my reaction. I grab Penny by the arm and we run quickly to the car. CntrlEnforcment will have heard what she said and will be on their way.
There is no time to pack any belongings.
We’ll buy more things when we get out of town.
It’s the one thing we know how to do.
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