Archive for December, 2004

I’m sure you can’t have failed to notice the devastation that has been caused by the Asian Tsunami. If you want to help donate money but are not sure which charity is best then why not give money to Disasters Emergency Committee which is an umbrella group of UK charities including, among others, British Red Cross, Cafod, Oxfam, Save the Children, Tearfund. Call them on 0870 60 60 900 or visit www.dec.org.uk

At-a-glance: UK aid drive

Other bodies raising money include Muslim groups Muslim Aid (020 7377 4200) and Islamic Relief (0121 622 0622)

What you can do to help

Well Christmas was sucessful in so far as I wasn’t told I was fat this year, something my Grandma usually loves to inform me of. After all I have lost 3 1/2 stone (well I had before all the chocolate today) since last Christmas.

Crap joke from a cracker:
What training do you need to be a rubbish collector?

None, you pick it up as you go along!

This is the homemade Christmas card we made together.

Image of the week
A brawl between 30 people dressed as Santa Claus was broken up by police with batons and CS spray. Fighting broke out in the centre of Newtown, Powys, following a charity fun run involving more than 4,000 Santas. Five people were hurt and there were five arrests.

Christmas spirit of the week
Church leaders have complained about Satan’s Grotto, a tourist attraction in York, where visitors can meet the Devil, sign away their souls and take away a severed finger as a gift. The grotto, opened for Christmas at the York Dungeon, also features robins roasting over an open fire and Santa boiled in a witch’s cauldron. “We’ve written to the attraction saying we would prefer if they did not do this,” said the Rev Roger Simpson, vicar of St Michael-le-Belfrey church. A spokesman for the devil said: “It’s tongue in cheek and our visitors love it.”

Error of the week
Members of the far-right British National party walked out on their own Christmas party after organisers accidentally hired a black DJ. “We had to be careful what we said when we did the raffle so we didn’t offend the guy,” said BNP official Bob Garner. The party, at a London hotel, was organised by the party central London branch. “He sounded white on the phone.” said Garner.

from the Sunday Times

Harry Potter publication date announced

J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is to be published on 16th July, 2005.

Huraaaaaaaaaaay!

This tablets is used to remedy erectile breakdown, too renowned as impotency. This is when a somebody can’t obtain, or keep, a rocklike vertical phallus appropriate for intimate action.

This narcotics is :
apt to be used as a execution enhancer

has key vantage over other specific

can function for 4 days

can construct up in the physical structure

Today it is the shortest day of the year and also for Pagans, the Winter Solstice

Will you have a white Christmas? Check out the BBC’s five day weather report. My area was predicted to have snow but as I check the site now it’s changed to sunny intervals with sub zero temperatures.

What about a vegan Christmas? I love eating a nut roast on Christmas Day.

My beloved and I were in bed “enjoying” ourselves and I had just reached the best bit when there was a small voice outside the door saying “there’s a cup of tea here for you”. I was moaning away at the top of my lungs, wondering why my boyfriend had ceased his vigorous rubbing, and I shouted “don’t stop, don’t stop!”. Then we heard footsteps scurrying away.

Oh dear, my mother heard me orgasm.

She very kindly did not mention it later when we finally ventured downstairs.

A very pungent man came in the shop today. His body odour was so bad I had to run to the back of the shop while trying to repress my retching. He made my stomach turn. I had to spray the entire shop with air freshener.

I can’t stop calling people a gomper. It’s my new favourite word, shamelessly stolen from a television advertisement.